Monday, February 8, 2010

Monday things.


I think these kookaburra's are so funny. The top one reminds me of an elegant mom that might be wearing pearls, and the second one reminds me of a little kindergartner who may have a short attention span, except for coloring on big sheets of paper. In other thoughts: I had a tinge of feeling like a mother for a moment myself. I got back my first stack of student papers for the semester and in their writing reflections students said things like, "I didn't think that I would be able to ever write, but I feel proud of what I did in this paper." No! I feel so proud of what you were able to accomplish in this paper. Teaching is a lovely thing. Also, check out hopefullymormon.blogspot.com (that's mine!). You should submit!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Wet-felted baby rattles from sheep wool in Provo!


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

All day I wanted to write about my hips. How I was upset with them for continually expanding, even though I am not pregnant, nor have I ever been. I wanted to tell them about how I've been working hard to exercise them, along with the rest of my body, and how I wish they would respond accordingly, but then, as I got on with it, and further into the day, that all seemed rather silly. So i have big hips, it's alright. I spoke with people I love today. I read things written by people I love. Carl got up to give me a hug and do jumping jacks in the kitchen with me when I got home. My cousin came downstairs and ate soup with me. My students are revising their papers and working so hard. I got to see the sunshine and the valley from the top of the mountain. I took a bath. I saw Darcie, and I saw Darcie's son, who knows my name and knows that Carl and I belong together in the same house. Brenda came over, and she helped me do the dishes. I talked to Leland on the phone and made a new friend on the ski lift. I read Neruda, who makes me giddy with delight. I saw Gee, who I've known since I was eleven and we had no other friends besides each other, and she has a lovely husband, who made us hot chocolate. And i have sisters and brothers in laws. And I talked to Ani, and the words were like deep, feathery quilts which fell over beds long unmade. I talk about poetry for at least 10 hours a week, and then i come home and try and write it. I've been far too trite and careless in the past with the beauty that surrounds me. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to grow up, and still I'm not even close. I'm sorry I whine that my clothes don't fit, or that they are old and only used to be cool. I'm sorry that I was ungrateful that we were eating lentils, again. Or that I can't be content just staying in Provo for the summer. I'm sorry that I was careless and ignorant to friends I loved very much. I don't know how to move backwards though, I don't know how to stop myself from being what I've already been. So I will say this, God teaches us to love unconditionally, but he cannot do it all at once. We are creatures with pockets full of mistakes. More than pockets. I'm sorry for all of my ingratitude. Really I am. It embarrasses me. It reflects poorly upon the world in which I live, and the people who have loved me. I want to be grateful. I want to cherish the sacred, I want to hold it the way I hold my grandfather's wedding ring. But first, I want to see the sacred. I imagine it looks something like the blue sky coming up over the untouched snow when I looked behind me on the skiing hill today. I imagine it looks like that picture of us.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Why can't I just do this?

Thursday, January 21, 2010



Sunday, January 17, 2010

Prayer

In light of the events of my Norton cousins in the past few weeks, I, along with many other people I know and don't know, have been thinking much about prayer. Not just the idea of prayer, but what the action of prayer actually does, and how it is translated or understood between the giver, receiver and intermediary. As so many people, in so many places, of many different faiths were tangibly moved, I was also touched to feel the presence of a community of prayer and faith as baby Gavin's story unfolded. Throughout the past week, my thoughts returned many times to the first five months of my time as a missionary in Uruguay.

When I started out my mission, I imagined stories of glory and success, as I'm sure most missionaries do. However, the place I first arrived at was a far cry from any type of success. The ward was a bit in shambles, the leaders had left, there were lots of hurt feelings and Sundays were dwindling in numbers from about 80 people to 15. As missionaries, we worked so hard to rally people's spirit, to teach lessons, to pull things back together, but even the few remaining leaders were skeptical. Everyone was ready to throw in the towel. One day while my companion and I were studying, we started to talk about prayer. We read the story in the Book of Mormon in Mosiah 27. In this chapter King Mosiah has a son named Alma who is going about destroying the church and being unkind and unruly. It doesn't say how long, but I presume for a long period of time, Alma's father and the people pray for him. An angel appears to Alma and says the following to him: (verse 14)
". . . Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith."

What I love so much about this story is the fact that a community of people had to come together with faith that something good would happen. It may have seemed like a vain or hopeless thing to pray for at the time, and many of the people in the community may have wondered why they were praying for someone they perhaps did not even know that well, but I love the phrase, 'the Lord hears the prayers of his people'.

So, as my mission companion talked about this scripture and the idea of prayer, we decided to try something in our little ward. We went around to each family and talked about this story and the power of prayer. Then, with the leaders, we set a goal in the ward to pray together at the same day at the same hour every week with a specific purpose in mind. We wanted to pray that our ward would be filled with more love and strength in the gospel and that we would be able to get through this rough spot in a small, Uruguayan's town history. As a last heave of hope the people in the ward agreed with enthusiasm and for months we all prayed at the same time every week. I remember getting teary-eyed every time we went to a family's house to have that prayer. The spirit seemed tangible and it seemed to be working with in us in ways we couldn't quite explain. It felt like we were being buoyed up or that our veins were being filled a hopeful potion. Things didn't get better right away, although in some ways they did. We just felt like everything was going to be okay, and that things were being taken care of for us in ways we couldn't comprehend at the time.

I remember my last Sunday there I sat with my back to the congregation as I was the designated, so-so, pianist. The song was "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today", and everyone, (probably about 40-50 of us by this point because some people had come back) sang with vigor and with a real hope and gladness. Perhaps not that much had changed, except in our perceptions of the transpired events and current situation, but in my memory, I remember it as something more. I remember feeling bound as a community, I remember feeling happy, I remember feeling that God must want us to pray together because it is one of the few experiences that transcends the difficulty of our earthly time.

I felt some of that same peace amid a storm in the past few weeks. So although I don't comprehend the sadness of my cousins, or the heaviness of losing someone in the same way, I am grateful that we had the opportunity, and continue to have the opportunity to pray together, to reach out in the most humble and human way possible to someone else.

Friday, January 8, 2010

07 JANUARY, 2010

Gavin David Bruce Norton



Gavin David Bruce Norton
October 24, 2009-January 7, 2010

For the last few days,
our baby was the most
loved and prayed for baby
in the world.

Thank you for that.
God is real.
God is good.


Because of the atoning sacrifice and resurrection of
Jesus Christ,
we will live together again.