Just Remy laughing himself silly at some dogs over Thanksgiving.

The crying only lasted maybe a total of thirty seconds, but still, Remy fell down the stairs.  He had been following me from room to room as I put away laundry, but he took a wrong turn and I heard his little voice calling down the stairwell.  I dropped everything and ran, but I came too late.  I saw his body tumble down the six stairs to the landing.  I think he has forgotten about it.  In fact, I'm sure he has because he has made his way to the top of those stairs and called down them several times since.  I am having a hard time forgetting about it though.  I'm learning that a mother makes many very conscious decisions to just be okay with things, especially things out of our control and so I am telling myself that it's alright.  The thing is, I don't think I'm a bad mother because it happened, I think it was just a quick shock into reminding me how much I love him, and sometimes that is the scariest thing to realize.  Last night he woke up in the middle of the night, as per every night, and I went to get him.  I've been insisting that he wear a soft, fuzzy bear suit to bed, so he was particularly cozy.  Usually Remy twists and wiggles and pulls my hair, but he just lay on my shoulder for a long time and we felt each others chest moving like birds wings slow flapping across the sky.  It amazes me that we can love other people in such away, but even more perhaps, is that someone else loves us the same way, and we probably don't even realize .


Shelly said...

He was REALLY getting a kick out that dog, wasn't he??! Cutest laugh ever!

I'm sorry about the stair accident. You never do get used to scary things like that....but they do just keep on happening. One of those really hard things about being a mom! I hate that part.

Racher said...

Can I quote this? "he just lay on my shoulder for a long time and we felt each other's chest moving like bird wings slow flapping across the sky." That might be the loveliest thing I have ever read.

Heather said...

So.... I just emailed myself two beautiful quotes from this so that when I open that "one line a day" journal I bought myself (got one for Matt too) for stocking stuffers, I can remember the quotes to put In there. You are an amazing mom.

Some of the most profound things Ive read in a long, long time.