Isn’t it a singular thing that what the world has struggled for from the beginning, wealth, power, all those things that make men comfortable, are to be had in abundance today—better and more clothing than ever before, more food than can be consumed, more wealth of all kinds than the world has ever had before. Our homes are more comfortable. The conveniences of life have been multiplied marvelously since the Gospel came upon the earth, and today everything that we have struggled for, we have. Education has arrived at its highest point. More knowledge of the things of this earth is possessed by men than ever before. Everything mankind has struggled for from the beginning of time that is considered most desirable is upon the earth today; and notwithstanding that, there is doubt and dread of what the future has in store. What is our trouble? It is that we have sought the creature comforts, we have sought the honors of men, we have sought those things that selfishness puts into our souls. We have sought to set ourselves up and have preferred ourselves to our Father’s other children.George Albert Smith
This quote kind of floored me.  And by floored, I mean burrowed, deep into the very bottom of my heart. How much of this is true for me?  Probably more than I'd like to admit.  What do I need to do to shed off selfishness?  What do any of us need to do?  I have a constant inner battle going on about the best way to give meaningful service.  Sometimes I feel like it is only motherhood that I can do right now, and other times I feel that if I were to want it, I could do so much more.  How do you find balance?  How do you do meaningful service?  How do you teach yourself to not "prefer yourself to our Father's other children?" These are real questions I'd love to hear your answers to.

In the meantime, here are some photos of the apple of my eye.


emilia. said...

i love this post. so much. thank you.

Christopher Spencer said...

That green picture is my favorite. I imagine the antagonist of some epic legend who just found the source of infinite power (glowing green ball) in the depths of the Earth and is insane with confusion and wonder.

Unknown said...

I think about these things all the time. I'm here trying to answer to your thoughts, and I feel so grateful that you are asking these questions. This is the second time I'm trying to comment here - so I hope it works this time.

I find that I can drive myself crazy (and perhaps already have) trying to figure out if I'm living up to what the Lord would have me be. There is something inside of me that wants so badly to "get it right" - and then there's the other side of me that can't "get it right" to save my life.

The older I get, the more obvious this becomes.

So this is where I have come to . . . I have one thing to do in each day . . . seek this Jesus . . . and when I do that, HE changes me. I'm learning not to expect definite outcomes, but to try and enjoy the walk with Him.

Nothing outwardly spectacular has happened to me. I haven't become famous. I haven't done anything overtly earth-shattering. I haven't written a book, or anything like that - but He has brought about changes in my heart, that I didn't even know were needed.

So, I can go back and forth wondering if I'm too selfish, too materialistic, too self-focused - but even in that, I leave Him out. The truth is that I am all of these things - selfish, materialistic, self-focused - and I NEED a Saviour to guide me through it all.

I NEED to know that when I go to Him with all my flaws and fumblings, He will be there - and He is.

This is Good News (Gospel). This I can live with.

No longer can I drive and strive and wonder if the things I feel in my heart are alright with Him. And this is HARD. Hard to trust that He will hold onto me even though I cannot get it right. Even though I fumble and fall and misunderstand the gentle whisperings of His Spirit. Will He still hold me dear? And I hear in my heart that gentle whisper that says "Yes. I will always hold you dear".

The hard part, for me, is trusting that Whisper. Trusting that HE really is alright with my inability to do everything right. Trusting that my mistakes and misunderstanding area part of the plan. Trusting that renovating my kitchen, because the drabness of it is driving me nuts, is also alright with Him. It's hard.

So I hold on to the whisper that goes around - the one we rarely hear - "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light". That's Good News to me. I do everything I can to turn to Him, and trust Him at His Word. Let go of the 20 million questions I have everyday about whether I'm doing the right thing, and trust that my seeking Him is enough.

There's a part of me that knows it's enough. I have evidence that He changes me when I seek Him - - - - and it takes time to change this middle ages woman's heart.

In the meantime, learn patience, both with myself and Him. Seek Him in this world of abundant beauty - in the sky, the snow, the aging of my face, the illness of my husband --- and hold on for dear life!


Debbie Brough said...

I love this - 'Sometimes I feel like it is only motherhood that I can do right now, and other times I feel that if I were to want it, I could do so much more.'
I've had this phrase on my mind for a few days now - I'm still trying to figure this out myself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I was drawn to your blog first because of your beautiful art (which I still love), but soon found how much I love your writing as well. You seem to be able to put those thoughts that I have floating around loosely in my mind into words so clearly and beautifully, as well as adding more thoughts, questions, ideas for me to ponder and figure out.
And, I loved your new word wuffed. :)