All the Birds of This Day

Last night I was driving to the library when I saw a big sign downtown that said, 'Established 1984, celebrating 25 years."   I looked up at it and then immediately placed myself in context. I did not at that moment feel like I was celebrating 25 years.  For various reasons, the last few months have been both wonderful and very difficult.  I went to a Doula training conference in Salt Lake on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.  I met 16 other women who were strong, intelligent, determined, many were mothers.  We became close over the 24 hours we sat in a small room discussing together.  It became quite apparent that these women had celebrated, and these women had mourned, and perhaps at times, those are synonymous. The teacher said many things that made me think a lot, one being a comment about grief.  She said that there are six stages to grieving, the last one being the acceptance of a new normal.  In which case, I suppose I am grieving in the most human way the loss of some things and people, and celebrating the gaining and blessings of others.  Maybe things will never be what we had imagined, maybe some paths do cross again, and maybe we learn better to love who are where we are.  I want to be the kind of person who celebrates 25 years, not because it was easy, but because it was difficult, and because we can love the difficult. There is so much to celebrate.