I just got out of a two and a half hour class in a basement classroom. The teacher lectured the entire time and I vaguely grasped what was being said. I get B-'s on all my papers in the class and I'm having a hard time willing myself to be passionate about critical theory. At the end, I walked up the flights of stairs and into the day, and boy was it a beautiful day. I often wonder about education. I know it is important, I do enjoy it (most of the time), else wise I hope I would have dedicated the last decade to something else, but I can't help but ask myself, 'What are we doing?!'. I know that this is totally rebellious to feel this way about the academic institution in general (not specific to BYU), in which I teach nonetheless. I just spent three hours of my life feeling creativity and excitement for the faculties of the mind melting away and out the door to freedom. It's partly my fault, I know; I could try harder, be smarter, read more. But also, I want to learn with my body, let it run around and touch things, get into trouble, get stung. I think that is my main motivation for organizing a creative writing class this summer. I was never so good at conventional learning, even at a young age. I am finally okay with saying that I am horrible at standardized tests. I raise my hand in class thinking it's a good idea, and only realize much later that I was not saying something the way that anyone else had understood things to be. I feel so strongly that education has the power to influence people for good, to uplift communities and homes, to be the catalyst for change. I have experienced these things so many times because of inspiring, and challenging teachers. I just sometimes feel so frazzled after a class like the one I just went to. The activist in me tells me I must rebel, or at least do something. I don't claim to know too much, or even be a fantastic teacher, but I hope these classes come to fruition because I feel that together, some pretty incredible things can happen. I'm thinking more and more about an older class too? Would anyone for reals be interested?


Grandma Bunny said...

Yes! Where do I sign up? I am Holly Wolsey's Mom and just got introduced to your beautiful writing by my daughter. I love your idea of using creative writing for young girls but I think it has as many possibilities for "mature" women.
"When I ask a person what he thinks, I don't want to hear from some chip installed in his brain twenty years ago." (Robert Brault) The older I get, the more I need to be challenged to examine my comfortable thoughts and be more open to a new idea. Would the world look different if I did that?

ashmae said...

So nice! I also think that creative writing has so many possibilities for "mature" women. I would love to be in a group where we could all learn from each other. If you are interested, I just need to find a few more students. I will post more information soon. Thanks for the support!

Joseph said...

Recently, my antipathy for academic related work has extended to money making work as well - don't tell my parents! I have spent hours and hours and hours in my parent's garden these past three weeks and that is all.