5.10.2010


So, for the past few weeks, and for the next few weeks, Carl is gone on a field study class for geology. He is back on the weekends, and he gets to go to a different place and study the earth every week. This is not to complain, I'm glad he gets to go, and I'm glad we're in a situation where that is possible. I just sometimes don't know what to do with myself. I feel less than motivated lately, and perhaps am undergoing a process of realization that I may never be/do all the things I thought I would, and therefore, I just stop entirely. I know I need to paint, write, read, garden, clean that wool in my backyard, exercise, read my scriptures, do some service, take a shower, do the dishes, do my homework, be a friend, eat something healthy; but I'm having such a hard time of it all. I think it may be this basement apartment, which I do love, but is rather dark and chilly. I have been trying to get a second job, but maybe that's not what I need, maybe I just need to learn to be content and productive at home. Regardless, this is me feeling rather perplexed on Monday afternoon. If you have an pick-me-upper suggestions, they are welcome.

8 comments:

Laurie said...

Ride your bike, girlie. That's a great pick-me-up. And then do something meaningful immediately after you walk back in the door.

tallia said...

i will exercise, eat healthy foods, clean the wool, and be a friend with you!!! we live in provo now and me and alice have every day free when jon is at work ,saturdays too :(.
i know exactly what you mean about being unmotivated. and basement apartments.

annie said...

as much as we loved our little basement apartment too, i finally realized that it was a big part of my problems. humans need more sun and light! but also, sometimes we just get into a funk. it will pass. though my house is a mess, so maybe don't listen to me. :)

k. double-u. said...

Sometimes, I end up being more productive if I give up productivity for a minute and take a nap or a purposeless trip to the fabric store. Without the pressure to accomplish anything, I end up wanting to.

ani said...

Have you seen 'The Tree of Wooden Clogs'? One of the most beautiful and stirring films I've seen in a while. I think you'd love it.

Brooke said...

I'm pretty sure you know that sleep is my remedy for almost anything. I'm also pretty sure you know that it's not an awesome fixer. Aahhh sleep. But anyway. Hang in there and keep making. I love you.

Can I see you in June?

Ash said...

Hey. Sorry, I swear I'm not a creeper, but I like your blog and I've been reading for a bit. Your paintings are fabulous, and I'm jealous that you're in grad school! I earned my undergrad in creative writing, and I loved every minute of it. Just so you know, I'm in a funk, too. But mostly it stems from lack of inspiration and doing lots and lots of spreadsheets at the day job. I say: take a bike ride. Go to a park, people watch, and enjoy the warm air and sunshine. Clean and then pick a favorite movie to watch as a reward. Re-read a favorite book. Pick a new classic (try The Elegance of the Hedgehog or I Capture the Castle. Both are fiction, but both are sooooo good).

Anyway. That was long. Sorry about that.

ashmae said...

thank you guys for all the nice suggestions! I did go and ride my bike a lot actually, and I'm feeling much better this week!