Ready

A displacement activity is the result of two contradicting instincts in a particular situation. Birds, for example, may peck at grass when uncertain whether to attack or flee from an opponent; similarly, a human may scratch his or her head when they do not know which of two options to choose. -wikipedia


In Ashley's world, when Remy is taking a nap, and I am unsure as to whether I should start work on my children's book, or work on an essay I've been writing, I start to wash the dishes.  Then I check my email, then a I dilly around a little, then I pretend to organize, eat an avocado, sweep the floor.  The Remy wakes up.  I don't do this all the time, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't follow a similar pattern frequently.  It wasn't until Carl recently brought home an article talking about displacement activities and self-handicapping that I realized how much I do this.  


The gist of the article talks about how we set ourselves up to do less that we are capable of because we are afraid of failure.  Wikipedia explains self-handicapping as well:  ...the process by which people avoid effort in the hopes of keeping potential failure from hurting self-esteem. It was first theorized by Edward E. Jones and Steven Berglas, according to whom self-handicaps are obstacles created, or claimed, by the individual in anticipation of failing performance.

Art by Lucas Grogan, found on the Jealous Curator

In other words, we stop ourselves from being awesome because we are afraid we might fail.  Which we might.  A good example of this is procrastination.  Waiting until the night before to do something and then feeling great when we still do alright in that thing because in our heart we know that if we would have spent as much time as we had wanted on the project, it would have been really great.  We spread ourselves too thin and then tell ourself inside that "if I hadn't been doing all of these other things, I would have been able to focus and do great at this."  I think as humans we are all masters of these techniques.  When I taught freshmen english classes, a good portion of our time was spent talking about how to start something well in advance instead of cheating ourselves of a decent learning experience, and thus depriving others of something decent as well.  I am a master of displacement activities and self-handicapping, and honestly, I would like to not be anymore.  I want to tackle the things that seem most scary to me and I want to take some risks.  I feel ready.  I'm not sure exactly what form this will take on, and that is perhaps the most exciting part.  My head and my heart are ready to at least try the things that are hard.